Recently he's been cooking 'proper' meals from scratch, so the next step, which we decided on a few minutes ago, is that he will draw £50 a week from his account and that will have to buy all our groceries - plus cleaning stuff, toilet rolls, tissues etc., and put the petrol in the car. I'll still see to the bank account and make sure all the bills are paid - most of which are on direct debit anyway. So one small step into looking after the weekly cash should - I hope - take away a lot of the fear - which is, after all, only the fear of the unknown.
The problem is that if I die then all our money dies with me. Oh he'll get the mortgage paid, but all the money, except his carer's allowance - which is tied to looking after me, is because I'm sick/disabled. I also know that he'll not ask for financial help from anyone - I think he'd lose the house first.
I don't think I could have suggested this a few months back. Finding he CAN cook - which only means that his confidence has now caught up with his ability - has given him confidence in his abilities all round, I think. He wasn't particularly daunted by the prospect of budgeting for us both, I'm glad, as I do worry over how he would cope etc., without me. So much so that I've got my sister-in-law Ruth primed to look after him for me.
Mind you I hope it won't happen.