craftyailz (craftyailz) wrote,

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My life at the moment

This year, hopefully (I think) my last year with the Open University, I'm studying Art of the 20th Century.  I'm finding it quite intimidating.  With Shakespeare reaction to the plays is already decided, but with Modern Art I have to voice an opinion, which may be considered to be totally wrong.  I expect - being an opinionated person - I'll get over it - there's no way I'm going to keep quiet, it's just not my style!

I'm enjoying going to church again.  The people are friendly and it's just nice to have all these people say hello - at time being at home all the time is quite isolating after being used to working with groups of people and meeting, greeting and chatting with them.  I also enjoy the ritual side of it too - and of course Ourdert, Peter and Fabrizio just make it extra special.  When I went to church in the 80s with friends who had children, I was the one who amused the children during the sermon.  Including a Downs Syndrome girl who used to take herself off to the bottom of the pulpit when she'd had enough (she was 5) and tell the vicar it was time to stop now - which he usually did.  I do so love being around children.

I was thinking about whether I would change anything inmy life - I'd seen something about 96% of people wanting to change something about themselves or their life/past - and I decided that I wouldn't.  I'm who I am because of where I've been, my experiences and the people I've known.  I've done some silly things, some naughty things and some downright stupid things (as well as some fun things too).  I've known some really nice people and one or two -  well two - hateful men who treated me very badly, but that's life.

The thing is I love my life, my family, friends and most of all my hubby Tony (poliphilo ).  Quite a few people seem to like and trust me - although there are some who can't stand me (!), so I don't think I can be that bad, so why would I want to be a different person.  Okay it would be nice not to have to keep on dieting - especially seeing as they never seem to make a difference to my weight - and some more money would be nice, but there again, there aren't that many cultures where the government will support you if you can't work, give you the drugs to make you feel better and give a small allowance so that someone can stay with you all the time. 

And I wouldn't be this me, I'd be a different me and might not be as contented as I am.

I've also been worrying about Angels and Archangels - where did they come from?  Did God make them or were they just there when we learnt about God?  Is God top Angel - after all they look like us and we're made in his/her image, or is he different?  Tony just shakes his head and sighs when I ask questions like these - mind you it is usually just as he's falling asleep at night!

My base of operations has been moved to the rabbit room.  I'm a messy person and need lots of room.  This means that my desk is full - and messy.  I keep on shifting things, but more seem to morph into their place as soon as they are vacated.  I have, of course, lots of soft toys around - oh and a bag of muesli which the rabbits are now addicted to.  I sit here with the noise of them ripping cardboard boxes to pieces and - if they don't get regular shots of muesli - throwing their ball around until I feed them.  Tony likes the same Muesli - though I do usually gives his opened stuff to the rabbits rather than the other way round.  Now that Tony and I are on different floors of the house I can also have the radio on, if I want to - and sing away to myself without him cringing.  I'm an enthusiastic singer but am totally tone deaf.  Ah well, perhaps that's something that Tony would change about me!

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