July 24th, 2008

An epiphany - at 53

I've been obese all my life. Okay I've dieted, sometimes even lost the odd stone or even four, but I've always put it back on - and ended up bigger each time.

I've realised that dieting isn't the answer. I have to re-educate myself into eating healthy. Calorie counting is good because I don't have to restrict what I eat, just how much of it. My appetite is - getting to be was - huge. I could eat more than my husband.

Food never satisfied me, I was always after that perfect tasting meal. Now I realise that I was asking food to be something nothing, in this world, can be - perfect.

I realise that if I manage to lose 1lb every week it will take me 84 weeks to get to a 'normal' weight. I doubt if I'll lose weight every week, but I'm cool with that, it just means that I've got at least 84 weeks to learn how to feed and look after myself, before I'm let lose on more calories.

The thing, for me, is learning to love, pamper - and control myself. I just wish I'd learnt it at 16 or 20 or whenever. But if I had done I wouldn't be the person that I am now - and I think that the person I am now is okay, so why should I wish I was someone else.

Hope this makes sense
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