February 7th, 2005

Kermit WHO???

This was sent to me today by a friend and it's so bad/good that I just have to share it with you: (Remember it's not my fault)

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. >"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" (you're gonna love this) (its a real treat) (a masterpiece) (wait for it) The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone." (You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
  • Current Mood: giddy giddy

Today's food

I went shopping with my parents this morning. We need a new toilet and sink for the bathroom - poliphilo decorated in their before Xmas and I'd like to get it finished. In a way I was surprised that you have to buy both the toilet seat and the taps separately.

Whilst I was there I saw a nice stainless steel towel rail type radiator which I've been wanting reduced to £85 including the valves, so I bought it. Poor poliphilo spent several hours on his knees last week de-rusting our bathroom radiator & we've got white radiator paint, but I think that the new one will just finish it off nicely (well, when we do the gloss painting too).

My mother has become very fussy. When my dad suggested going to a cafe where the toilets were on a different floor she panicked and said that I wouldn't be able to manage, but I assured her I could. She had thought that as I wasn't taking my wheelchair I'd have to link both of them and they'd have to keep me up. Now I'm no lightweight (as you can tell from the photo0 and my parents are both mid-seventies and quite frail. Also I'm 5ft 7 inches and mum is 4ft 11 inches. But it was nice that they were happy to take me even thinking this.

Breakfast: 20grams protein powder, strawberries, blueberries.

Snack: A warm danish pastry.

Lunch: Same quorn, onions and mushroom from yesterday.

Evening: Salmon steak with pineapple rings.

Snack: Edam cheese & an orange.

Drinks: 1 cup of coffee, 3 large herbal teas, 1 pint slimline tonic water, 1 pint iced water.
  • Current Mood: chipper chipper